The Funeral
by PNWHufflePuffin
Summary: Harry is grieving the loss of his GodFather, Sirius Black. The wound is still so fresh and seemingly endless. He decides Sirius deserves a proper send off, and wanders into the forbidden forest before setting off back to the Dursley's marking the end of his terrible 5th year at Hogwarts. There he plans to hold a small funeral, but can he really go through with the finality of that?


_I'm coming up only to hold you under_  
 _I'm coming up only to show you wrong_  
 _And to know you is hard, we wonder_  
 _To know you, all wrong we were_

 _Ooh-ooh_  
 _Ooh-ooh_

 _Really too late to call, so_  
 _We wait for_  
 _Morning to wake you, that's all we got_  
 _To know me as hardly golden_  
 _Is to know me all wrong, they were_

 _At every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral_  
 _Every occasion, once more, it's called the funeral_  
 _Every occasion, know I'm ready for the funeral_  
 _Every occasion, oh, one billion-day fun_ _e_ _r_ al

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 **Quick Disclaimer that I own none of these characters from the Harry Potter universe, and that they and the rights all respectively belong to JK Rowling. I'm really proud of this piece and thought it turned out pretty well for being a random little thing I whipped out this afternoon while I was bored.** **I always wished something like this for Sirius would have made the book, a real send off for my favorite character. Told from the perspective of Harry. P** **laying off the lyrics to Funeral - Band Of Horses, which seemed to fit it well. Enjoy and thanks for reading!**

* * *

My footsteps fell heavy upon the ground as I walked, matching with the aching weight of my heart in my chest. How could I feel both pathetically empty and painfully too full all at the same time? I stomped down on a small leaf, and watched as it crumpled beneath the sole of my worn-down sneaker. So here I was, attempting some sad approach at closure to the death of Sirius. Bitterness overwhelmed me because I knew deep down that this was in vain, for the moment I lay my head down for sleep tonight I would be greeted by the nightmares. The same nightmares of my godfather being murdered in front of me, and of strange voices calling out to me beyond the veil.

I had to do something though, I couldn't stand another second in the Gryffindor tower being watched like a ticking time bomb. Rumor had gotten around about my fainting spell in the exam before I had rushed off to try to help Sirius. _More like get him murdered acting like a self-righteous hero._

So, every second of the day I felt eyes baring down on me. From people who were horrified by me, convinced that I had a mental problem. From people who wanted more information about how I had been right, about what that means. Worst of all though, were the stares from my friends. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny were doing a poor job of trying to act casual. I loved them, I was grateful for them, but did they think I was an idiot? Did they think I couldn't pick up on the fact that they were walking on egg shells, not daring to say anything that might relate to Sirius.

That right there was the most painful part, that no one dared to openly grieve Sirius Black's life. One of the greatest people in the world was taken from it, and almost everyone around me had no idea. It was infuriating. Most people didn't even know Sirius was innocent for starters, that he constantly received the short end of the stick his entire life because of a lack of understanding. They didn't understand how truly _good_ he had been. Sure, Sirius was openly considered innocent now, the ministry all knew, but were they about to run _another_ article that shed light on how inefficient they were? Were they going to shed light on the story of an innocent man wrongfully convicted by them? who was dead and gone anyways? No, they weren't, therefore leaving almost everyone clueless to the details of what Sirius had sacrificed his life for. The resentment burned, like a fire in my heart.

In my hands lay a small rucksack with several items in it. I'd sent a letter to Remus asking for a few of Sirius's things to have. He'd delivered and sent back several items. There was a letter to Remus from Sirius, a couple old pictures, a spare key to his flying motorcycle and an old scarf in Gryffindor colors that had belonged to Sirius when he was in school. I held the scarf between my fingers, taking in its worn fabric from many wears. I imagined Sirius wearing it around Hogwarts when he attended. I imagined him throwing it on to run outside for late night adventures, to warm him against the cold.

I stopped on the edge of the forbidden forest, the lake in view where I had cast the Patronus that had saved Sirius the first night I had met him. I set the rucksack down gently and swung the shovel off my shoulder that I had been carrying loosely. I'd borrowed it from Hagrid and the handle was much larger than meant for my hands. I held it awkwardly though and with persistence dug a small shallow hole in the soft earth of the forests floor. It was quiet while I worked, I was grateful for the labor that took my mind momentarily away from its troubles while I preformed the task at hand.

I slowly stood up once I was satisfied with the depth, tossing the shovel aside and listening to the break in the silence while it hit the ground with a thud. There was no body left behind when Sirius fell through the veil, nothing physically to say goodbye to so this was the best I could do. Nobody knew what to do about that I suppose, no one offered to gather to pay their respects to Sirius's life. I had to though, I had to say goodbye somehow. Simply watching him tumble through the veil wasn't a damn good enough goodbye for a man who had sacrificed everything to help me. Sirius had been the last real family I had.

I lowered myself to the ground sitting cross legged beside the hole I had dug, the smell of freshly dug earth filled my nostrils. Slowly I pulled the rucksack closer to me and dumped the contents into my lap. I straightened out the fabric of the rucksack and placed it in the very bottom the hole. Maybe filling this hole would fill just a fraction of the pit in my heart I hoped to myself as I picked up the first item.

It was the letter to Remus, it had been from their days in Hogwarts. It had no real meaning to it within its writing, just a scrawl about meeting during the full moon. No, the meaning came from the fact that Sirius had written it, his messy and familiar scrawl even from when he was a teenager was comforting to look at. Remus giving him this was a gift in its self because he couldn't bear to part with any of the letters he himself had received from Sirius. He lay the letter down in the bottom of the hole and moved on to the pictures.

The first was familiar, and of Sirius with James and Lily Potter on their wedding day. I ran my finger across the worn photo and smiled despite myself. Sirius had been happy back then, still so young and handsome. His cocky grin was captivating, and I longed to have known them all back then. The second was a picture from the Order of the Phoenix. My eyes immediately found my godfather and parents in the photo, this one didn't sit as well with me. This was where it had all started to go downhill, and yet they were all still so young. I placed the photos over the letter, grateful that I had copies upstairs in my trunk of each photo.

I laughed out loud as I picked up the motorcycle key. I turned it over in my hands several times thinking of the trouble a young Sirius must have gotten into with a damn flying motorcycle. I wondered vaguely if he had ever shown it to Mr. Weasley. It was a strange thought to have right now, but I sincerely hope he had. Placing the key on top of the paper items, I looked back down at the scarf.

This one wasn't as easy to place in the hole as the others, maybe because it was the last item. The last I had to offer to this moment of saying goodbye to Sirius. I felt tears spilling from the corners of eyes, the hot liquid running down and clashing against the coldness of my cheek. I held the fabric closer to myself, sinking once more into the overwhelming grief that seemed to live endlessly inside of me. It was growing darker as I sat buried in my misery, unable to place the scarf in the pit.

I don't know how long I sat there before I heard footsteps coming from behind me. I quickly turned around to see who it was and my eyes met Remus Lupin standing there in black robes. Behind him I was surprised to see a small group of people gathered as well. They all made their way forward with solemn faces, all dressed in black. It was Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, George, Neville, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Hagrid, Dumbledore, Tonks, and Luna. I stood up awkwardly, staring at them all in surprise, wiping embarrassedly at the tears on my face.

"What are you doing here?" I asked awkwardly, I tried to make my voice sound casual but it was a pathetic attempt and came out choked.

"You don't have to do this alone." Luna said softly stepping forwards laying a flower beside the grave I had dug.

"But how did you know?" I asked incredulously.

"I met Hagrid at a pub the other night, we got to talking and I mentioned you asked for a few of Sirius's belongings. When you came to borrow the shovel earlier today while carrying the rucksack Hagrid put two and two together. He made a couple calls to us because he thought you shouldn't have to lay Sirius to rest alone. We all quite agreed as well." Remus said quietly and everyone behind him nodded their heads in agreement. I locked eyes with Hagrid trying to show my thanks with a small smile.

"We're here for Sirius too, we miss him." Hagrid said his usually loud, booming voice was softer than I thought possible. There was another murmur of agreement from the small group of people.

"Thanks Remus, Hagrid… Everyone." I muttered embarrassedly and they all smiled down at me. Lupin stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder. His face was etched in sadness, and his eyes bloodshot. Maybe I wasn't the only one who needed this. He grabbed the scarf out of my hands and wrapped it around me.

"Keep this okay?" He muttered softly and I nodded, grateful for him sparing me from putting the item in that I had been dreading. Lupin then stepped forward and began to speak.

"Sirius Black was a brave man. Wild and untamed yet loving and thoughtful. He was very much like the Animagus form he transformed into, a dog. They say a dog is a man's best friend, the most loyal creature. I suppose that made Sirius the best friend you could possibly ask for, because he fit that description perfectly both in dog and human form. He was there for me when no one else was, and a loyal friend to the very end. He will be missed more than words can explain." His voice was filled with sadness as he spoke. He stepped back and Hermione edged forward to speak her piece on Sirius as well.

Slowly everyone took a small turn saying something about Sirius. The stories were sad, happy, and Ginny even told one of hexing him when they first met with her famous bat boogey hex because her family let it slip to fill her in on his innocence. I found myself smiling, crying, and laughing despite myself.

Dumbledore finished last explaining of how Sirius was a great man. How he had been fiercely protective of me. How Sirius had sent him dozens of owls telling him off during the Triwizard tournament. Dumbledore lifted his wand in the air and the dirt magically covered the hole. He then raised his wand further and shot out a shower of golden sparks. Slowly everyone followed suit, and I raised my wand last and let out a burst of sparks too.

The hole was still there inside of me, Sirius wasn't going to be easy to forget about, to move past. My heart felt less heavy though, and the comfort of the people around me brought ease to that weight that I thought would never relent.

Luna moved forward and placed a medium size boulder over filled in hole. She leaned down in front of it, blocking my sight as she worked for a moment. When she raised herself back up I looked down and saw that she had engraved something into the rock with magic.

 _Sirius Black_

 _Friend, Fighter, Marauder, and Godfather._


End file.
